This is for the technology department at The South Bank. I was interviewed last month for Technology Guardian in a section called Celebrity Squares. So here it is just for you. The largest growth area for The Guardian is technology adn online and I would say the same for the BBC. Moe people read the Guardian online than in its paper form. Anyway - here's the interview.   more »

In August The Independent published an interview. I want to share with all the workers what happened with the last question of that particular interview. The question was something like "if you were not a writer what would you be". My response was "I am absolutely what I was made to be so I find it very difficult if not impossible". The interviewer asked me to try "I can't" I replied. And after even more gentle cajoplling I said words to the effect of "I'd work in arts administration....maybe a poet who works in arts administration I suppose" I followed through with a garbled " I can't see myself being anything other than what I am". This is the background to the answer of the final question. Just so you know. Cause if you didn't know the background it gives a different impression. Here's the interview.   more »

Mid morning breakfast meeting Dave Haslam at The Malmaison. Later on in the day he will be interviewing individually all the surviving members of Joy Division who became New Order, for a documentary on the Joy Division for XFM. Dave is reading from his books - he’s published by fourth estate - at my event at The South Bank 24 hour Party People? on 9th November. It’s going to sell out so I suggest if you want to come buy quickly. There is limited availability. It'll be in the brand new venue The Spirit Level.   more »

I am away and off site for this week, rehearsing in Manchester with director John McGrath for a show called Why I Don't Hate White People which is  a  performance of twenty minutes taster and attempt at  stand up comedy written and performed by myself in November at The Hammersmith Lyric. I shall be bck on SOuth Bank soil in a new york minute. That's more like Monday 24th September.

Henry Normal is a poet, a millionaire poet at that and we used to tour together – in less fiscally abundant days - with guitarist, genius lyricist and now lead singer of a band called I am Kloot, Johnny Bramwell, then called Johnny Dangerously. They were special days which Henry remembers with pleasure. To now be sat with both the poet and film producer – he has made most of the hit Steve Coogan films – is a treat. Both of these ace writers shall be at The South Bank on November 9th.   more »

I am being taken me underneath and into the substructure of The Royal Festival hall. It’s a storytellers series of giganormous Concrete Caves beneath the structure above. As Becky Shaw unlocks the doors a chill rushes out and the detritus of the entire structure raise a collective eyebrow as if resting actors waiting for the call, hearing the door open, again. It must look like this back stage of a doctor who set.   more »

Abdullah called me, to thank me for the tickets, as I was biking it across the bridge to the embankment. "I should go out more often" he said and then spoke enthusiastically about Orhan Pamuk at The QEH and the way he spoke both in Turkish and English. Abdullah felt included in the south bank. There's quite an artistic community in Clapton where I live - he saw many of his customers in the audience, who were suprised to see him from beyond the counter. Whereas this Turkish shopkeeper serves other people for his entire life, yesterday the south bank served him - art's for all. From the immigrant shop keeper to the casino worker. I must thank Martin Colthorpe, the Head of Literature. The ticket was waiting under Abdullah's name.   more »

Still hot desking but speak to Becky Shaw who is putting together a desk for myself, and I think other artists in residence. It's at The Riverside Rooms. Fan –freakin– tastic. I go down to The Riverside Rooms with Becky and meet The Cape Farewell people based there. They seem cool. The moment I stepped in the place it felt right – pictures framed upon the walls, slightly dishevelled, a couple of leather couches. All I need is a desk a computer and a phone. Any two of those three will work. When I said Becky was putting them together I didn't mean that she was actually building them,    more »

So this is the south bank blog. The first one. I swear to tell the spoof the whole spoof and nothing but the spoof. So help me. Speak your mind - or lose it. Alternatively it could be a place where I roll with it - a sort of blog roll. Who knows. Ramble ramble.Rumble rumble.    more »